You don’t have to do anything

It’s been a long time ago when I posted the last article. The coronavirus came and everybody has to be in lockdown. So me either. In the beginning, I thought it didn’t affect me at all, it „didn’t reach me or touch me or tear me apart”1 I’d just been regretting that I didn’t decide to go home when borders were still open. But day by day, sitting at home, I started to regret more. And I realised what the crisis really means.

A pandemic like this one is something new. Of course in the past, some epidemics and diseases existed but never on such a large scale. Almost all the world is closed. People cannot travel abroad, go to hairdressers, gyms, cinemas, bars. Children cannot attend school and even some people cannot work. And everybody deals with this situation on his/her own.

I think I hadn’t got along well. When the crisis came, I started to look for a way to go home, but I couldn’t find anything. I’d been crying almost every day. I’ve missed people who I love, I was scared, I haven’t known what the next day brings. I have to admit I was jealous to hear that many people who I know can spend this time with their families, friends, partners. I had checked the world map with infected people, I had read articles about the COVID-19, I had tried not to think what bothers me. But from every quarter I’d seen how people were dealing with the lockdown. Social Media was full of challenges, workshops, small concerts. I thought that everybody was doing something special. But not me… I was doing nothing. And I felt so guilty because of that. Wow, it was a really tough time, and I guess somehow it’s still.

Well, finally, after three weeks, something moved, something changed. And now I’m not sure it was one episode of „How I met your mother”, memes about the coronavirus, books and articles I’d been reading, talks with my boyfriend. Maybe everything together or nothing from the list. I realised I don’t have to do anything, it’s a crisis and I deal with it on my own. So if I need to sleep 10 hours I will be sleeping 10 hours, if I need just to sit in my bed and cry I will be sitting in my bed and crying, if I need to watch „How I met your mother” I will be doing this. And this is ok. It’s a tough time, it’s ok to not do any special things.

And then the magic came. The truth is that I fixed my ukulele and I came back to my everyday practice, I started to cook dishes which I haven’t try before, I believed in learning Portuguese, I signed up for some lectures and workshops, and what is the most important I began to be more conscious and aware of my feelings and needs.

After Easter, because of many cases with COVID-19, Camara de Lobos, the town where I live, was isolated for two weeks. This time I got along with this situation quite well. The government opened the town in the night from Saturday to Sunday (2-3.05.2020) and abolished other restrictions. So tomorrow we are coming back to the Teatro Metaphora’s office. It won’t be like before, because we have to wear masks and do not be so close to each other, but it’s the first step. I believe that everything is coming back to normal.

Can you imagine the world after the pandemic? Maybe everyone will be scare to travel to meet new people, maybe prices will go up, maybe people will realise what is really important for them. So many variables… But still, the pandemic lasts, and we don’t know when exactly it will end. Until then we try to get along with this situation. And please get along on your own. It’s your life and you know what you need and what you feel. And one day everything will be fine again.

Stella Kołodziejczak
Volunteer at Teatro Metaphora – Associação de Amigos das Artes
European Solidarity Corps  
To know more

1Fink „Truth Begins”,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s